Missing the Combat Boots

Going from waking up in the morning at 0400-0500 hours to get to work in military uniform to waking up at 0500 hours and dressing in civilian khakis and polo shirt for my cafe job. From and hour and half lunch breaks to half an hour. From 24-48 hour shifts to 6-8. From talks about missing home and the civilian freedom to having second thoughts about leaving the military.

This is what my life is starting to become. A doubt. An emptiness and lack of purpose. I am sure this is only a phase and will quickly burn out of my mind because in all reality the only time I'm ever doubting my leaving the Army is when I'm working my new job. My co-workers are the typical college students that stress over the dumbest of things in life and find myself not being able to relate to any of them.

I have no doubt that this will pass with the aid of my husband and awesome new friends. I remind myself the only time I'm unhappy is when I'm working in this cafe and it isn't permanent. Getting paid $9.00 per hour for only 6-8 hours is really an ideal job for someone who has exited the military and shouldn't be upset.

I am stronger than this.